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—— 《 普读 • PooDu 》

英语笑话集 | 人生不易,笑对需要勇气!

English Joke Collection | Life Is Not Easy, It Takes Courage To Laugh Right!

2023-06-03 00:54

01

They are directly from America.

它们是从美国直接带来的

Not long an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank todeposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, andtrust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

英语笑话集 | 人生不易,笑对需要勇气!

02

My little dog can't read
我的狗不识字


Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

英语笑话集 | 人生不易,笑对需要勇气!

03

Bring me the winner

给我那个打赢的吧

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.

英语笑话集 | 人生不易,笑对需要勇气!

-- 服务员,这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。

04

Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.

一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!

老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

男孩:我!我现在要回家了。

05

Wife: "How would you describe me?"

妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: "What does that mean?"

妻子:那是什么意思?

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

丈夫:开个玩笑!